Summer days

13 07 2014

I can remember being a kid and thinking that summer lasted forever. Now as an adult it feels like I’m blinking through the months.

In June, Lincoln turned two. How is that possible? Now a month later we are finally seeing some changes in his speech. Although his words aren’t as clearly enunciated as Nolan’s were, he is finally choosing to use them!


Last weekend we had family over to celebrate the baptismal of our two littles. It was just amazing and I wish if had the extra time to take photos but really we just set cameras down and enjoyed being in the moment with our family rather than stressing about documenting it.

Mariella is eating everything now. It shocks me how much faster she’s growing than the other two. She cries for anything we have on our plates and wants to eat/play/do everything her brothers do.


In a few days the boys are starting a summer preschool program, it’ll be so different to have only the baby home.

As for me, work and home consume my hours. I’ve been working way too much OT but loving it. I’m exhausted and fulfilled. This is truly what I was called to do in life.

Natural vs Modern

7 07 2014

I have never been one to shy away from either the “natural way” or the “modern way” of child rearing and health. We are a giant walking contradiction. We cloth diaper mostly but also use some disposables. We breastfeed and allow our children to nurse and wean on their own schedule. We kept both children rear facing til age 2 (or pretty close) and will ERF Mariella. We follow baby led feeding. We always made our own baby food. We are hesitant to use antibiotics and to date the boys have only had them once each. We adamantly oppose circumcision for our children and strongly encourage parent to educate them selves before allowing their children to be altered. We use natural family planning, avoiding OCPs. All those factors make us seem pretty….um…. Crunchie.

Then we go and contradict ourselves. We pierced our daughters ears, without regret. We believe whole heartedly in vaccines, and avoid children who aren’t vaccinated. We believe in public school AND educating at home. We sometimes eat fast food. We believe that hospital births are necessary for some people, both due to medical need and personal choice.

I am a registered Nurse, I witness the miracle of modern medicine daily. Without modern medicine people with breast cancer would die. My two boys never would have survived a home birth. I would’ve died during Nolan’s pregnancy without blood pressure medicine. My own mother wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for modern medicine, a fact I am forever thankful for.

The wonderful part of life in our country is the ability to pick and choose what works for you and your family. No one person has to be totally “natural” or “modern”. You can take what works for you and use it. It’s a blessing!

Life is too dang short to confine yourself to one “category”.


1 07 2014

The idea that we are half way through the year is startling to me. The time goes by so quickly these days. Long days, sometimes even longer nights causes there to be a shift in the normal time continuum and a 24 hour period of time is both excruciatingly exhausting and passes so quickly it slips through my fingers like sand.

Today I stood and watched my children, Nolan directing his siblings, telling stories and acting out the various scenes from the depths of his imagination. Lincoln so full of energy and motion you can practically see him vibrating. And Mariella, her unwavering interest in everything her brothers are doing, her curiosity that drags her to them like metal to magnets. And as I stood there, I felt peace.

This is what my life was meant to be. The purpose of all the frantic running around, the endless sleepless nights they were all for these moments.


Our children probably won’t remember that we cleaned the bathrooms on Saturdays, or that grocery shopping was more coordinated than a symphony. They won’t remember the days that they didn’t get baths, or the times we spent all day in our pajamas. But I’m sure they will remember days like today, where a rainstorm didn’t keep us locked inside, when they were encouraged to splash, jump, run, and play.




And while those may be some of the memories they have of their childhood, they are also mine to cherish, the days when I’m not biding my time hoping the choices I’m making are the right ones. These types of days make it all feel like it’s going to fast. They are growing up, they are not just living but experiencing their childhoods.

It’s magical.


An update of sorts

23 06 2014

I cannot even begin to remember the last time I blogged. It’s been too long. And frankly there just aren’t enough hours in the day for me to find time.

I’m working. A lot. And I love it. I truly feel being an RN is my calling in life. I turned 30 a couple weeks ago. And other than that, I am the same.

The Sailor is working and happy. Spends his free time playing with the kids, fishing, hiking and exploring. Most recently we embarked upon home brewing beer. Fun!



The kids are all doing well! Nolan graduated his first year of preschool. Continues to have an advanced vocabulary and is now such a “leader” (read bossy pants). He’s creative, imaginative, and loving.


Lincoln turned two this past week. He’s still working with the SLP to try and get him to talk. He’s sleeping in a big bed, loves his sister, thinks he’s 3 years old and cracks us up.


Mariella is now 8 months old, crawling and pulling up on everything. Says “Mama”, has 4 teeth, eats anything we put infront of her, nurses like a champ and still doesn’t sleep at night.

I miss blogging but can’t think of much to write about. It’s my gigantic writers block!


When people start asking…

7 02 2014

Let me preface this by saying that the general populous are idiots. Mind you, I adore many of those idiots, but they are still idiotic in their comments and questions.

We’ve made a lot of big changes lately and one that has shocked a lot of people has been my choice to pursue my career. I went to school to be a RN, a dream that I set aside to have children.

And now, I have the opportunity to explore that dream again. So I jumped on it.

That leap has caused the comments and questions to come flooding in; “so, you’re done having kids?”, “I thought you wanted to be a Mom?”, “but YOURE breastfeeding?”, “so, I guess you’ll start formula?!”, “Is The sailor making you go to work?” And so on.

First of all, anyone who knows me IRL knows that The Sailor and I are on equal standing, he would never make me go to work.

What annoys me most about these questions is the implication that by choosing to have a career I am not capable of being a Mom too. Are there not moms who work and still nurse their babies? I’m fairly certain that not all working moms use formula, especially not in my profession. And more kids? Well is it impossible to think that we may (or may not) have more? Since when did working mean that procreation cannot happen? Do working women not have sex?

The adventure of entering the work force has presented itself with a lot of aggravation from the comments of people on the outside.

I’m blessed to have a supportive family and husband who know that this is what I WANT. That all the sweat, blood, tears and time that went into school was because I wanted to be a nurse.

What a fun and exciting adventure for all of us!


Mariella Rosaleigha, 3 months

26 01 2014

Dear Ella,

Three months (and even a little late), thirteen weeks (well actually more like fourteen and a half), you’re days are flying by. Weeks melting into each other.

At three months old you are wearing 3-6 month clothing. Size 2 disposable diapers, lowest setting on all the cloth. You’re favorite toys are the doll from Santa and your Monkey rattle. You “talk”, coo, squeal, gab and giggle most of the day away.


You look a lot like Nolan and Big Boy C in coloring but carry a ton of Lincoln’s features. I guess you mostly just look like Ella.

You love your brothers so much. Anytime one of them is near you, your entire face lights up! You smile and yell for them! It’s so cute!


You’ve spent the past several days fighting a cold, but I’m hoping by next week you’re better. You still nurse like a champ and have even starting sleeping better, especially since I stopped trying to get you into your cosleeper and just decided to snuggle you.


You and your Daddy have a special bond, he’s usually the one who can calm you down and even get you to fall asleep!


You’re still not too fond of the pacifier but we keep trying! Atleast it’s entertaining to see you “chew” on it!

Baby girl, slow down! You’re growing so fast it’s hard to keep up!

We love you so much!

Your Momma

In the dark

10 01 2014

Motherhood and parenting are hard jobs. Ones that come with constant fear, worry and self doubt. Today has been a day that reminds me what a blessing our children are.

I started my day with sweet words from my oldest, he squeezed my neck and said “Momma, you’re my favorite momma!” I may be his only Momma but it’s still an honor to be his favorite.

I got sweet smiles and coos from our princess. Her entire face lights up the moment she sees me. It’s such a blessing.

And now, as the day is winding down I an blessed with some tender moments with Lincoln who woke up needing a little extra snuggles before bed. In his half awake state, he dreamily sighs and rubs my face.

It’s impossible for me not to see the work of God in these little souls. Impossible not to feel so blessed to have the privilege of being their Mother. I look at their little faces, feel their hearts beat and feel immeasurable love.

I’m theirs, and they are mine. My heart starts and stops for them. And I pray that I remember what a blessing they are forever.


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 241 other followers